So, why write a blog about my cancer? Surely the answer is – why not! For a start this is to document what happened as quite a lot went on in a very short amount time and if I hadn’t written about it, I would not be able to remember a thing. Thank you brain. I think another reason is that lots of people (myself included) do not know about Hodgkin Lymphoma (HL) even though it is common in my age group – so I figure that a bit of awareness is not a bad thing!

Tennis ball – forget the law.

Saturday 1st March

Slept really well being able to have the window open to cool me down.

A nurse came in first thing to shut my door as the window was making a draft for someone else. And then the next thing I think that happened (apart from the lovely people coming in with breakky, tea and to clean) was two healthcare assistants to take my pulse and temp. One was very stern “Just because you are in hospital, doesn’t mean you should stay in bed” I had said that I had been moving around. So I sat in the chair…had to put my feet up which made me cough more…result? Had started the blog was watching The Wire – even though she had been bit rough, she picked up the wire boxset which was on my bed. (I win!)

Text Carl p back – just saying “sup?” just in case it was a fishing call from B and R. He said he had done his first jump that it was really amazing.

Sent Dr B a Happy Birthday message but no reply.

I moved money across to cover accommodation fees.

Nurse Claire looking after me.

M had gone to see Dob and Date and CnL – hopefully borrowing some more DVDs, they have also offered to store my Bristol stuff in their garage which is really good. Manda corgie won’t know until she comes back from her Birthday hol and then followed by Cindy – should be interesting!

D went to get me some books (The Disappeared!) and some toiletries whilst my food came. This also included “ a present for me but you can have it if you would like” Autocar with lots of Audis… M said that they both thought they had heard the Wid this morning.

Sisters had gone t’shops to find me some clothes – traffic was really bad so they arrived just as I had finished the mac n cheese and was attempting the rhubarb and apple custard. Food makes me cough – lots! They bought tops, tees, trousers and some lovely shorts with pelicans on and some new nix!

Apparently I was supposed to have been seen by the oncology team but they didn’t know and that the chest and thoracic team thought that they were not supposed to see me… I went for a walk up the corridor. When I got back, neck had swollen more and hard to move  – SHO doc (?) looked like Rosie, asked how big the lump was because she hadn’t seen the CT scan – M said large/huge 15cms and later to me, about the size of a tennis ball. Mr A had said to her when she asked if he could go though it with dad that he had all the time in the world for me and hard to have any (time) for the patients who won’t stop smoking after having half a lung out. She said that I wouldn’t be doing any law for a while – 6 months to a year to get back normal. What is this going to mean? Plus also, that is quite hard not to think legal…

Discussed who to tell and concluded that RnK could visit but they would need to come in their own car so we could tell them when to buggy off.

Went on a walk up the hall with M because had feeling like I should have gone for a run in the sun today. It was really hot out of the room and my voice had got really gravelly. Had to wait ages whilst it was discussed what needed to be done to sort my neck out. D was going to drive sisters home because they wanted to go but he didn’t have his driving glasses so came back – I had another ECG then it was decided I should have an extra load of steroids and another painful shot of blood clot med. So painful. Was also suggested that I would have some mouthwash for sore throat. Was also suggested that I should have bloods taken… neither of these has happened so far! The steroids did make me a bit angry – was getting annoyed over what the response to the Wid was going to be. Saying that, now dive mag isn’t helpful! Can hardly breathe deeply – strange when I used to have such a deep lung capacity (for swimming and diving). I also said he should definitely send me some wine – mum mentioned that it would also fall under the category of something not being able to have! I wasn’t able to sleep very well at all, although I was coughing less when I did feel more tired.

What I don’t get – How do you get it? Why do you not know you have it and how long does it take to grow? Hmmm. Rosie’s look alike said she would find me an info sheet.

Symptoms include – Cough [Check] breathlessness [Check]… this qualifies for HOW MANY OTHER MEDICAL THINGS????

Biopsy, Wid, Snow Globe, Exam

Friday 28th February

Had Weetabix and toast – toast came with marmalade – thought of D! Met Doc who was to perform the biopsy. He spoke to Mum on the phone after I had signed the consent form – possibility of a collapsed lung, 4 samples taken – 2 dry and two in solution just in case the pathology department needed more time/samples. He mentioned that afterwards that someone would be checking my pulse and heart rate every half an hour. I said that It was ok – it had been the same when I had my jaw op. He asked if it had been a…mdgfugdhfvplasty and I said maxillofacial and indicated the four breaks. He said that was a one up on his son who had only had his bottom jaw done and was now a Durham graduate looking at doing xtype medical research (I kept quiet about my qualifications!!!).

Had biopsy around half 11 although I had just got onto the table in the cath lab when I was desperate to use the toilet (TYPICAL.). Luckily I didn’t have to be wheeled passed the reception again – four people behind the desk!  He showed me the CT scan which had marked up measurements on for him. He said – I’m going to use my nail to mark the spot as pen rubs off.

When the local went in, he said  “I’ll put lots in, a bit at a time so it holds before the next lot goes in…” on me wincing “Ooh sorry, that’s just your RIB CARTILAGE, I’ll put some more in underneath” “ok” (through gritted teeth!!).

The bit of paper with the hole in was large! It had tape on one side and pretty much covered my face. This was probably just as well. He had demo-ed the noise of the tissue sucker clicker and it was really surprising how quickly it was over. Told to keep the dressing on for 24hrs and then not to wash it for the following 24hrs and to stay in bed for 4 hours after the procedure (no complaints here!)

When M and Sis1 got here in the afternoon, M said that they had to take Wid to the vet which is why they were a bit later than planned. He was in the hands of our best vet – and Sis1 said that she had sympathy illness – she was having breathing difficulties. M said she had got up but then her legs had gone, she wasn’t eating and was very smelly.

It was awkward because she had left a message asking Sal to look after her before they decided to take her to the vet. So then when Sal rang, she had to explain what was happening and where she was… She had also just told Sis2 to come home a day early without trying to tell her that I was in hospital and that little Widdle was in the vet. I was very upset about how Sis2 was going to feel. Date had also offered to look after the Wid as she knew Sis2 was coming in here and that she would need looking after so she had to find out about Wid. She very kindly offered for Sis2 and Sis1 to go in for a cuppa.

Dr A came and showed M the CT scan. Sis1 was able to tell me about her job. M got the doc to show D when he got here a bit later. He had a jeans and lovely jumper day. D had seen Sis1 leaving in Baby as she went to go and pick Sis2 up from the station and go to say bye to the wid. D missed the text to go there with them as he was already on the way here.

Prof J the oncology specialist (known by S and P) came in to say that at the moment it was like someone had taken my life in a snow globe and had given it a massive shake. Yup, certainly seems about right! He said that I would stay on this ward until Monday when I would be moved around to his ward which is luckily just around the corner, so won’t be moving far… He mentioned that now, before we got the tissue results that I would need to have steroids, a tablet to prevent the gout which the steroids may cause and some blood clotting meds. M mentioned about the pill in terms of clotting. He misunderstood and went on about fertility and women coming back into the clinic with their children. WHAT!! Don’t think we are at that stage quite yet!

M and D went for a walk whilst I ate tom and basil pasta with choc pudding and custard. D came back and said that M had just gone to meet sisters. When they got here, M said Sis2 had a good story about the Wid – she was so excited to see Sis2 and then Sis1 said she then kind of gave up after this. I am so glad that they were both able to say good bye to her. We spent ages laughing – Sis1 told us about Ste and attention seeking status which had been the first thing which had come up – said that she felt like saying “AW POOR YOU! MY DOG HAS DIED AND MY SISTER IS IN HOSPITAL” She also said that Bas had sent her a nice cowshed product set and that all her friends knew about her issues – they were M, D, Sis2 and me! And that her only other friends were the ladybirds! (infestation in her room…!)

M had funny convo with Cindy earlier on in the day.

I emailed Uni to defer all exams – copied in M and D so that they would have the right email address.

Carlos rang and left a missed call.

Watched the last Breaking Bad series 1. MISSED JONATHAN CREEEEEK, ah boy.