It has actually been a year and 17 days since the last cheem. I had to look it up. Glad no one else remembered these things ‘cos wooha, awkward. So this time it’s different. Easier but harder too. Last time I facebooked everyone and lost people that way. This time I’m going for minimal. So day after biopsy – Sis1 came home last night, Sis2 went to Reading fest for the day today and we went on a walk with Date and L and the pupster. Hardly any blackberries to be had on the downs which had been the whole point. Before we left, had rang nurse specialist to see where d’at with Edinburgh and rang her back. Treatment is R-ICE (vanilla ice soundtrack) and Edinburgh is set for the 15th. At least this time, it’s not gunna effect the fingers with neuropathy! Watched a long way down – ‘fun’ film about suicide! Cheery for the relapsed and anorexic (Sis1)
What’s the first thing you do when probably diagnosed with cancer for the second time? Go buy a bra. Or two actually. “Of course, buy a bra! Now, why didn’t I think of that?” Well I do have Loz’s wedding on Friday and a supported chest is always desired.
So pre bra buying – basically the magic PET scan lit up. Best way to describe it was like looking at the thermal image from one of those numerous cop shows as voiced by Jamie Theakston. It’s in the same place as before, just slightly smaller. Prof is marvellous – totally lovely and to the point. Three rounds of the cheem, plus one big one for annihilation porpoises. Mostly as in patient. Will have own stem cells siphoned off and frozen, then pumped back in after the big one as bone marrow will be ick. Talking of frozen things, may well needing to freeze some other things too. Unlike previously, there’s less hurry to have the chemo so more chance to freeze some tissue as an insurance policy. Need a biopsy to fully confirm, get bloods done. He said it can be done after my exam. The problem is this next chunk is going to take 6mois. Definitely had jelly legs walking out. Also not telling anyone for a bit may be difficult but I’m not telling everyone this time.
Sat 11 July 2015
Went to Claire and Jon’s wedding – lots of food! V dress down wedding, photographer in jeans and tie dye. K was great at speaking. There was there ceremony then we all went outside for drinks whilst Claire and Jon went out to woods and fields for photos. Claire properly laughing when had to say Jon’s full name! When they were back, lots of group photies. Waited two hours before the BBQ was ready. Followed by the speeches and then there was an ice cream van (couldn’t eat it all!) and then the pay bar opened followed by pizza (didn’t have) cake cutting and fish n chip cones. There was also a sweet cart thing (shrimps for Sis2) and some cupcakes – really good but too much icing for me! There was also a photo booth thing. Emma and Charlotte did a great rendition of the Hold On (?) Bridesmaids song through the unfilled in barn wall. I went around 930/10 so tired!
Sun 12th July
Woken up at 4 to leave for the ferry, took around an hour and boat apparently left before 7 then drove through France (mum’s first comment – drive on the left drive on the left oh wait!) then at one part took wrong exit and ended up paying twice through a toll road! I listened to about a cd and a half of Harry Potter on my purple Walkman MP3 and it was 25o in the car without the aircon. First aire we stopped at had a hole in the ground and I died laughing as I should have got myself a shewee – never mind getting Emily one for her mahosive cycling trip. M n d stopped to swap over n dad chatted to a French guy with crutches sitting in his boot. It was so cooler there – can’t have windows open on motorway. Second stop was waaay better, had auto flush toilets and a strange hand drier which looked like a dyson one but worked by putting your hands through the front. Saw a very weaselly looking dachshund with what could have been a dandy dinmont. There had been a typical homme francais – bumbag and a fag in hand whilst filling his oil up. When we carried on, the crutches guy drove passed and his kids waved! Finally got to the house around 5/6 depending on your timezone
Met the family – dog called Kilos and 3 children – girl about 11, boys aged 15 and 18 just about to go to uni to do medicine.
Pizzaaaa MMM had to wait for an hour for it but totes worth it
M mentioned that there was a framed puzzle above my bed – I hadn’t noticed!
First full day – went to the super u, busiest grocer shopping ever!!!!!!! Saw loads of otters on way back although they might be Coypus?
M n D went to take the car after a short lunch whilst we went in the pool with the new inflatable rings – interestingly one seems small than the other despite both being same size on the packet..
Lots of discussion over the recycling
Suppa wuz prawns which I managed to squirt brain juice all over my white tee and sand coloured trou
Fireworks at the beach! Crazy French dj in the square first and after. When we originally walked thru to the square, there was a shop called free shoes
Swim (100 lengths booyakasha)
Lunch and washing – how to get this machine to work!
Bin was stinky so mum washed it and then it didn’t work! Was an automatic opening one
Beach – lots of surf school kids, had a coke with Sis2 and skimmed some stones
Watched some of lady and the tramp two
Supperrr was spag with very olive sauce – saw a rat!
Weds 15th July
Plan had been to cycle to the terriere shops – Cycled to the local shop and got bread, local bar is called Cafe Luc (lots of French Kiss Meg Ryan pronunciation LUUUUUUUUCCCC) then had to cycle to super u. Mum got too many bog rolls than could be carried so we made her change it.
Mum fell off her bike on the way back!
105 pool laps
Watched Fortitude – Contrast to heat outside!
Fri 17th July
Finished my book – sweet tooth Ian McEwan Watched jimmy neutron, went for swim (50)
Got ready to cycle to beach! Dad fell off up the top near the car park – stupid bike didn’t change gear when he pushed to change it, then it did!
Walked further along to the left so dad could kite fly. Surf school watching.
We had to move stuff twice cos of tide. M n D went off and had lunch at the beach bar – apparement chips and salad niçoise and vin! Really big waves. Cycled back around 7pm did 100 laps pool. Dad spoke to Sis1 who had gone to get puppy.
Had ricotta n spinach stuffed pasta and some cheeze then watched ep 4 of fortitude with some verveine tea and milka
Watched Cuban fury
Went to get a surf bag and found a small surf shop by Mr brickolage and also went in there to see if they had a black pool hose – D got a massive knife attached to a corkscrew (not needed despite the shot cork screws in the draw). Also went to produce shop and got lettuce, basil and melons and then to terriere village – D and Sis2 got bread and choc twists, I went with mum to get stamps – frozen is called the snow queens as it said on the front of a magazine.
Got back, I had swim (100) then we cycled to see the lighthouse and then into tranche sur mer for an ice cream.
On the way there Mum fell off again! Her map was rubbish and took a while to get to town- chained bikes in square and walked around to choose ass crem. I had cassis (standard), Sis2 – lychee, D crime brûlée and m lemon meringue. As we walked toward the beach, a band was practicing, and then destroyed ‘don’t look back in anger’ with the drummer at least two beats behind! We then walked back through the shops and m n d were looking in one near the corner of the square where they bikes were chained. The rain which had been threatening since lunchtime was unleashed but wasn’t too bad. It cleared the streets which made it easier to push the bikes back through the pedestrian part. Faster getting home – new neighbours Belgians pulled up just after we got to the garage door.
Finished Kathy Reich’s bones never lie, had a chic twist type for break. Unc and cuz are coming for supper after diving? Whatevz. M n d gone to super u (again) to get fud. We went to the beach when they got here and they had a go on the kites. Cuz poured water over me when I was reading! how rude!
Emily finished Perpignan! I can stop boring the fam with Emily Cycle chat!
Went to Puy du Fou – very French theme park. Every area has a different historical theme – Roman chariot racing with lions and tigers, Vikings with wolves, a medieval bird show with thousands of birds – eagles, owls, vultures you name it!
Strangest stage show of the musketeers – guns, water filling up the stage, white horses and blacklight, blueman-esque drumming, Spanish dancing girls a la Bucks Fizz…what more could your want?!
Definitely one to youtube…
Beach at 5/6 had food at the geko beach caff
Car screen cracked from flying debrie (haha cheese joke!) – big stone and huge crack
Pea crabs in moules – gross
Pool time! Around 100 lengths. Cycled to the beach one last time. Donned wetsuit and took the body boards out and then it rained and was very windy. We got back and packed.
So, why write a blog about my cancer? Surely the answer is – why not! For a start this is to document what happened as quite a lot went on in a very short amount time and if I hadn’t written about it, I would not be able to remember a thing. Thank you brain. I think another reason is that lots of people (myself included) do not know about Hodgkin Lymphoma (HL) even though it is common in my age group – so I figure that a bit of awareness is not a bad thing!
After talking to Emily about her cycling blog, I thought I’d update. I’m effectively where I would have been this time last year if cancer hadn’t happened (and we know cancer happens) so I’m just finishing my last week at uni before exams and I’m not scared yet, just in mild panic which could tip over at any stage… So I moved into halls on campus (a convenient 2 min walk to classes) and the flat is more like a maisonette – large kitchen/diner/sofa situation on the ground floor then with 3 further floors with 4 bedrooms on each (with two share-y bathrooms). I’ve been here since late March and have only just realised the significance of the cutlery in the empty Nutella jars on the side – there are no draws in the kitchen. A definite “SAY WHAT” moment!
6th Jan 2015
Went walking with the puppy. Her name is Arrietty this week (or Hairy-etty as sister pointed out!). Met H by the cross road that leads down to the park – took a while to get there to meet her (I guess as had no service on phone and got a message and missed call when I got back!). Pup had taken ages – stopping to sniff at every other hedge and pulling on the lead – tricky as the pavement was narrow and beside the fast road as well as the lead holding being difficult due to my fumbley fingers! T’was cold but sunny and had definitely underestimated the temperature as I was boiling or maybe that’s due to the sore throat/cold I’m getting (blaming Sis2’s friends as she was ill straight after meet up with them last week! although sad as she’s now really ill but had to go back to uni for exams.) H confirmed it was bloody freezing when I met her by the bus stop. We swapped dog over and strolled to the park. H mentioned her housemate who didn’t go out on NYE with them due to bf problems, well sounded like she missed out! They were going to go to Edinb but the next train back would have been the next morning at 8 am… Took turns on the flying fox and H ran around with pup who responded well to being called back from the end of the lead – she ran to me and then decided to run in figure of eights really fast, made H laugh! So fast. H mentioned about her “adventure date” going shooting! Took some pics on the way back. They’ve fully started on the entrance to the houses.
Found this which I had written a while back (obviously!).
The cooling shade provides slight relief from the roving midday sun. The dog shakes, tag jangling against its ring and the ear flaps, fast motion, flash catch shimmer, all colours. The noisy call of the pheasant startles out of the trees. Where did it come from – was it the terriers on the other side who caused it to flutter out squawking? Were they level already? Chest pound, slight crack a few beechnuts underfoot. Crossing back into the full light, the grasshoppers sound, transported further south, France perhaps or Italy. The telegraph pole empty. A slight tan tint on the white contrail, slight interest into the path edge. Mushroom with grey mouldy fringe on its unfurled surface confused with a stump. Field now short, dark brown stubbled with green tramlines growing in the tracks. Now the small numerous stones colliding together, meeting shifting under the twist of the heel. The chunk chunk train fading and the road increasing then the syncopated beat of pads on the drifting dried earth.
Wednesday 19th March
Got worried about cancer spreading and infertility. One of those things that I focused on because I didn’t have anything else to concentrate on at the time. Turns out that you can have eggs frozen etc. but takes 6-8 weeks and you have to have it before chemo. Will just have to wait and see. They say you shouldn’t try for a baby for up to 2 years after you’re fixed as if it is likely to come back, it is within that time scale. So…26 ½, 27 ½ 28 ½ geez!!
Turns out Richard Harris (Dumbledore) died from Hodgkins Lymphoma! Who knew.
Think Len came to visit?
Tuesday 18th March
Best sleep ever. Tabs for sickness were drowse-y ones so I forced myself to stay up. I did wake up in the night but was able to go back to sleep. Ben was here at 8!
I had to force myself not to do stuff. Whole back hurting ache situation.
Had porridge then had bacon, poached egg, tomato and another bowl of cereal. Had toast for lunch. Sis1 went to Croydon to pick up work bits, Mum went to work but back at 2 and Da back 4.30 – had been to a funeral because he was the executor BUT she had already been dead 3 yrs!!!! Had left body to medical science. Totally confused me and M “was there no-one from the care home?” “No, she had checked out three years ago” I thought she moved back home or something! HA!
Mum said that Mark’s funeral was on Monday and I was like Mark? It was D’s friend (biro tattoo!) Mark and Sue and their two kids. Apparently he just collapsed so Mr Little has booked his flight but Mum and Da have to tell him why Mum’s not going and why he can’t crash here would be cool to see him if poss though.
Walked up to chickens and saw the bee hive! Dad got me v pillow. Best. Thing. Everrrrr. Almost finished Bbad – on S5 ep5 . Watched my mad fat diary.
Monday 17th March 2014
Really sick so went in for a check-up. Was sick in the car on the waaay. Hurrah. They said it was a “tumour flare up” and said that this showed it (chemo) was working. I had to take a sickness tablet and then have bloods done before we went – Nurse in oncology couldn’t get anything out of my right so had to go for my left arm too! Can’t believe they hadn’t given me enough sickness tablets
Some wonderful flowers arrived from Becky, Vicky and Sarah!!! 😀
Was so hungry had toast and Marmite when I got back! Mmmm, salt.